crazylady's Diaryland Diary

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12.02.02

Well I ate the blasted turkey on Thursday. It was all I remember it to be�dry, tasteless and not at all interesting. I hate turkey. Made nice with the MIL�s family and showed off my beautiful baby. Of course the day was not without it minor dramatics. It seems Chupie was so terribly excited about the whole affair she decided to try to stay up all damn night Wednesday. I don�t think she fell asleep until sometime after 5am. Not having been able to reach the MIL Wednesday we had no idea what time she was picking us up (rabble scrabble not having a vehicle big enough for the three of us forcing use to rely on the MIL and her rabble scrabble Jeep) so I told BD to set the alarm clock (which is on his side of the bed�see where this one is going?) and set it he did�and turn it right off he also did�which meant I woke up after I was fully rested�at about 1:30pm�exactly 15 minutes before the MIL-taxi made it�s appearance. Good grief. My clothes were still in the washer�the child was not at all ready to be awake, no less clothed and poked-at by the MIL�and dammit I hadn�t showered yet. So I set my internal Sim clock to �high speed� and we were able to walk out the door in less than an hour. After the child was sufficiently pawed at and fawned over we sat down to the traditional Thanksgiving dinner of dried out turkey, lumpy potatoes, stuffing chock full �o gizzards and other assorted bird organs, and of course, the main staple of the pilgrims frontier diet: Pillsbury Crescent rolls. Heaven did shine down a tiny little ray of joy for me by not including corn, in any form whatsoever, in the meal. Next year BD and I have vowed to bring the wine, and rest assured my friend, it will not include a screw-top or the words Mogen David anywhere on the label.

Now before I continue, let me clarify that my description of our meal is not intended as, nor should it be construed as a slam/pot shot/insult to the members of BD�s family that bought, prepared and served it�I simply hate turkey and most of what goes with it. The only way I really like turkey is deep-fried by The Best Friends brother. The wine comment can be construed as an insult since I find Mogen David screw-top wine a biting insult to my taste buds.

The only remotely aggravating thing the MIL did Thursday was make a stupid comment about how the baby doesn�t usually stay up until 5am�hmm�then I must be losing my mind because I could have sworn I�m up on a fairly regular basis nursing, singing to and threatening a baby until the painfully bright wee hours of the morning. No biggie though�MIL�s comment = rain if I were a ducks back�that didn�t translate out of my head very well.

I also scored a rocking chair from BD�s aunt. Bonus. Chupie seems to like it and hardly fusses when I feed her in it and believe you me; there is a shocking difference between fussing and hardly fussing.

So Friday afternoon we�re all set for our first family trip, a three-hour car ride to visit BD�s dad and step-mom. Again we�re waiting for the MIL since we�ve reserved the Jeep for the weekend. Everything was packed and everyone was properly groomed and outfitted for the occasion in a timely fashion thanks to my now-paranoid internal alarm clock. So the MIL gets here and BD immediately starts taking our things downstairs, leaving Chupie and I alone and defenseless. Literally before I could even blink she swoops in and rips my child from my arms like a god damn eagle hunting a mouse or whatever furry woodland creature that eagles eat. I was dumbfounded and flabbergasted all at once. No warning, no �Whet me see hers!� or similar crap�nope�she just ripped my child from my arms . I�don�t�get�it. I�m so very glad that she loves her granddaughter so much but I ask of you all�how much is too much? I mean I think I heard the poor child�s neck snap. And I swear to god, allah and whomever else may be able to help if, when Chupie gets fussy, she �suggests� it may be her diaper I literally think I may scream. If I only know one thing about my child it�s that she couldn�t care less whether or not her diaper is �soiled�. I could probably go days without changing her and she wouldn�t mind�I would mind a little though, that smell gets to you after a while. Okay�end rant�after all; she did let us use the Jeep to drive three hours to visit her ex-husband and his �new� wife.

Ah�you know how all the parenting books suggest driving your fussy baby around to get them to sleep? It�s all a big freaking ruse. Chupie hates riding in the car�well properly I think she hates riding in the car seat . The only way I would ever strap that child into a car seat and go on a three-hour ride again is if at the end of that three-hour ride I would be dropping her off to her new family and I would be able to drive home in silence. Nothing made her happy. The fact that she�s doing the whole pre-teething thing doesn�t help matters either. I know a lot of people, me included, think those child leash things are cruel but I�m thinking there is a market for child muzzles.

When we (finally) arrived at the FIL�s house he had the heat turned up to about a million degrees so we were not only wiped out from the drive but quickly losing important nutrients and electrolytes due to dehydration. We sat down for dinner (meatloaf...properly, not my meatloaf) and baked potatoes and made very little small talk. After dinner we retired to the living room (also known as the Boiler room) where we exchanged even less small talk, suffered second and third-degree burns on most of our bodies because of the fireplace and watched a Clint Eastwood movie. Saturday BD and I took Chupie to Staples and Wal-Mart where we spent our generous (I�m using italics because there is no html code for sarcasm) Xmas money on things for the baby. I did splurge on myself and bought a whole pack of pens. Then we returned to The Furnace where we enjoyed a dinner or Cornish hens (what a pain in the ass those things are to eat!) had absolutely no small talk and watched three more Clint Eastwood movies. Pretty exciting stuff I tell you.

The ride home was nothing short of hell since we ran it was snowing and frozen water falling from the sky turns everyone on the road into a complete moron. Chupie�s wailing and carrying-on didn�t help set a peaceful mood and I again threatened to drop her off in the middle of a parking lot. But we made it home safe and sound and brought with us some very important lessons learned�The child does not like to ride in the car and the FIL�s house is not a good place to visit in the winter unless you�re trying to sweat-out a couple pounds.

3:44 a.m. - 12.02.02

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